The Prince and the Captain
by lost highway
Summary: Prince Iruka is kidnapped by the Evil Orochimaru. Now it's up to Captain Hatake to save him from certain death.


**Title:** The Prince and The Captain  
**Prompt Number:** 14  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairing(s):** Kakashi x Iruka  
**Summary:** Prince Iruka is captured by the Evil Orochimaru. Now it's up to Captain Hatake to save him from certain death.  
**Contains [warnings]:** Lots and Lots of CRACK, Major OOC-ness, a healthy dose of Disney and crazy occurrences  
**Word Count:** 7515  
**Author's Notes:** I don't own Naruto or Disney. This prompt was crazy fun to write :)

The Prince and the Captain

It was a beautiful day. Or rather, it had been a beautiful day. Everything had been going swimmingly until thirty-seven minutes ago. Umino Kame glared at the shining sun. It had no right to look so happy when everything had gone to shit in his kingdom. Just this morning, he had eaten a delicious breakfast with his wife and son. And now, Sakana was in her room sobbing her eyes out and Iruka was gone. Kidnapped. And what was worse, was that it happened in the middle of the bazaar at high noon. How was it that no one noticed Crown Prince Umino being kidnapped in broad daylight?

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He was pacing the throne room when his advisor timidly crept in. Ebisu winced when he saw Kame punch a wall. The King's strength was considerable and the throne room was built for decoration, not for the release of anger. Any more punches, and the wall would collapse. _But,_ Ebisu thought, _I doubt that the King actually cares for the wall right now._

"Sir?"

"Ebisu!" the King shouted. "Has there been any news? Has he been spotted by anyone?"

"Ah, you might want to sit down for this sir." Ebisu said nervously. Being at the end of the Umino temper was not part of his schedule today. He had experienced it once, and that was enough for him to tread carefully around the royal family. "There has been information, but you're not going to like it."

"Then I'll stand right here and hear it." Kame glared at the now quivering advisor. "Report, now."

"He has been spotted." Kame heaved a relieved sigh. "But, it was as he was being led into Akuma no Mori."

Kame stiffened. "What do you mean, 'led into Akuma no Mori'? No son of mine would willingly go into that forest."

"Unfortunately, that was the report. He was being led with absolutely no resistance."

"Then pray tell, who was he following?"

"Aha," Ebisu chuckled feebly. "That's the problem. There was no one there."

"Then how was he being LED?" Kame shouted. _I will not run away, I will not run away_ Ebisu chanted as the King stepped towards him, _I will not run, I will not- oh fuck it!_ Ebisu stepped away and ran behind a large plant.

"The villager who reported it said that it looked like he was holding hands with an ephemeral being. He said that the young prince looked dazed."

"Dazed?" The King questioned before he fell quiet. _A daze, like hypnosis?_ He thought. _If that's the case, then we're in deeper trouble than I thought. There's only one person I know who could possibly have the power to place hypnosis on Iruka._ "Ebisu!"

"Yes, My Lord?"

"Get Naruto in here. I have a job for him."

"Of course."

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"Kukukukuku. My, my young Prince. You have grown since the last time I saw you." Iruka groggily lifted his head off the pillow that supported it. He blinked a couple of times, but his vision remained blurry. Squinting, he noticed two colors, a bright gold and dark grey. "Kukuku, your eyes aren't really going to help you. At least, not until my hypnosis wears off. But I am impressed; you needed my strongest hypnosis to put you under. I guess your father trained you well."

Iruka tried to open his mouth, but found that something was sticking his lips together. Breathing deeply, he tried to move his limbs systematically, only to find them all immobile. Closing his eyes (which seemed to be the only thing he could do at the moment) he took a deep breath before focusing on the bright ball of fire that was his chakra inside his body. Branching out from the main source, he went hunting for the kinks and bonds he knew should be on his pathways, disrupting his flow and therefore keeping him prone. Finding them, he pictured a pair of scissors and cut the bonds. Slowly opening his eyes, he found himself staring at something that could only come out of his nightmares.

"AAAAAH!" He shrieked. Every movement in his body propelled him off the bed and onto the floor, away from the being. "What the fuck are you?"

"How did you do that?" The thing demanded. Iruka shuddered as he realized that the it was actually a he. "My hypnosis is unbreakable."

"Who are you? And what do you want from me?" Iruka demanded, finally gathering his wits. "I'll have you know that kidnapping the Crown Prince is punishable by death."

"Pfft." The man scoffed. "Your father never was able to capture me. What do you think makes this time different?"

"Simple." With that, Iruka let loose a large ball of pure chakra from his palm. In a split second, he was on his feet and running out of the room. He had no idea how to get out, but he figured that running and hiding from the man might buy him some time. Reaching into his tunic, he felt around for one of his smoke pellets. He was going to need all the luck he could get. Two seconds later, he found himself tightly bound with a silky feeling rope. He struggled wildly when he saw to red, luminescent eyes staring at him in the darkness. The eyes moved and suddenly, Iruka was facing a giant steel spider.

"Bakumo." Iruka breathed in wonderment, momentarily forgetting that he was trapped. He had only heard of them in books. They had been melted down after they were used to build the bridges in the kingdom.

"Kukukukuku. You didn't actually think that you would escape, did you?" The man materialized beside him. Iruka gasped. Teleportation! Only people with tremendous chakra control could do that!

"Let me go." Iruka struggled against the powerful ropes.

"No. Your father banished me from the kingdom."

"My father wouldn't do that unless you did something horrible."

"So I blew up a town in a temper. I could have done much worse."

"Then it's a good thing that my father banished you." Iruka growled.

"But he'll be rethinking that banishment when I tell him you're with me. Trust me, your father would do anything to save you."

"Who are you?" Iruka demanded.

"My name is Orochimaru. But you can call me Oro-sama. After all, you'll be staying here for a long time Umino Iruka."

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"Has Iruka-nii been found?"

Kame smiled genially at the still boyish face in front of him. Naruto never failed to brighten his day. "Naruto, it's good to see you."

"Same Sir. But Closet Pervert said that you needed me ASAP."

"I need you to find the ANBU."

Naruto stiffened. "Why do you want them sir?"

"Iruka's been kidnapped by Orochimaru." Kame sighed.

"How did that happen!"

"That's the problem. I want to know how he managed to ensnare him and why he waited over 25 years to do it."

"I see." The 19 year old replied. "So you need ANBU to fly in there and get Iruka out."

"Yes."

Naruto sighed. "I hope you know what you're doing Sir. The ANBU are not a bunch to be taken lightly. What are you willing to pay for Iruka?"

"Anything Naruto. He is my son. I would do anything for him."

"Then you should be prepared to do anything for him Sir. The demands that ANBU will make may not be pleasant to succumb to."

"I'll deal with that when the time comes." Kame said. "Just find them for me."

"Yes Sir." Naruto replied. _I really hope you know what you're doing._ "They'll be here soon."

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"…and this is where you'll be sleeping." Orochimaru finished with a lopsided smile. Iruka glared in return. "Don't look at me like that Iruka. It could always be worse."

"What could be worse than having my bedroom, bathroom, and dining room all in one room?"

"You could be living in the dungeons." Orochimaru chirped happily. "You're lucky you're so pretty. I like a pretty face."

Iruka growled. He just couldn't figure this, this thing, out. He was supposed to be wicked, but most of the time, he acted like one of the petulant kids who always wanted their way from the Royal Academy that he taught at. But Iruka knew it was all a façade. In the three days that he had been living in Akuma no Mori, he had seen Orochimaru's expertly made defense systems and the complexity of his traps had impressed him. He also possessed many steel animals as servants, all of which amazed Iruka. Metal creations were rare and only seen in the Royal Museum. Iruka loved studying the animals and machinery there.

He sighed as he looked around his room. He was right; it could have been much worse. At least he was able to freely leave his room and explore the building. He had even allowed him two hours outside in the forest every day. Really, he was being rather accommodating for someone who was hell bent on revenge. But Iruka stayed on his guard. Everything could change in just minutes.

"They said that they would be here at noon!" Kame roared at Ebisu. "It's 1:37pm. Where are they?"

"I'm sorry My Lord. I have no idea. I very clearly expressed that they had to be here at noon several times." Ebisu whimpered. Just then, the doors banged open.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I got lost on the road of life." A silver haired man, wearing a mask strode into the hall. Ignoring the whispers of 'liar!' he continued forward until he was directly in front of the king. "Hatake Kakashi, Head of ANBU, at your service."

"You're late." The king said glaring at the man. "And if my son were around, he would have ripped you to pieces."

"But he's not, and you want us to find him for you." Kakashi replied, his tone becoming serious.

Kame sighed, his shoulders visibly drooping. "Yes, I want you to find him. The only information we have is that he is somewhere in Akuma no Mori and that Orochimaru is keeping him captive."

"You're asking us to risk our lives for your son." Kakashi replied. "Why should we do it?"

"My son means everything to me. Do you understand what that means?" Kame retorted. "He is the bright future of this kingdom and if anything were to happen to him, not only would this kingdom fall apart, my family would be broken. He's been missing for six days already, and the kingdom is already feeling the strain."

"Very well," Kakashi replied. "We will find him. But I hope you understand that since you are willing to do anything to get him back, we will ask for anything as our compensation."

"I understand, and I willing to do it, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else but myself." Kame replied.

Kakashi nodded in agreement. "Then we have ourselves a deal. We will find and return  
your son Your Majesty, and in return you will give us our heart's desire. Now, tell us what we need to know about this forest and Orochimaru."

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"-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!" Iruka winced as his door swung open with an ear splitting creak.

"Iruka-kun! It's been two weeks since you've decided to stay with me!" Orochimaru smiled toothlessly. "We should have a party to celebrate."

Iruka growled. "I'd rather not."

"But Iruka-kun!" Orochimaru gasped. "It would be a party held in your honor! I understand that none of your friends would be able to attend, but all my friends will be coming. You wouldn't want to disrespect them now would you?"

Iruka shuddered at the gleam in his eyes. Whoever these friends were did not bode well with him. He nodded his agreement and winced once again when he squealed loudly. "Oh I can't wait! We'll have it in three days! It's going to be so much fun!"

He skipped out of the room humming an odd tune. Iruka pressed his face into his hands. What was he going to do now?

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"Captain, it's been over a week. And we haven't even gotten into the forest." A man dropped down from the crow's nest, his bandana holding his hair out of his face and a sharp senbon hanging out of his mouth. "I'm bored of sitting on top of a ship that isn't even moving!"

"Neji clearly specified that this was the weakest point of the entire barrier." Kakashi replied. "We just have to wait until a storm blows up. According to Shikamaru's calculations, we need 17 more lightening rods before we can penetrate the barrier."

"Dammit!" Another voice yelled from below the deck. "Kakashi, why won't you give up this piece of shit for a ship from this century?"

"Because the new century only started eight years ago. And because Obito, for all the grief he gave me when he was alive, was my best friend. You don't throw away your best friend's prized possession, Asuma."

"Kakashi," a boy with a spiky brown ponytail called from the wheel. "The next storm will be in 27 hours. You can count on your 17 bolts."

"Finally," grumbled Genma. "We can get into the damn forest, grab the prince, and then get out. I never liked nature anyways."

"Enough," Kakashi said sternly. "Orochimaru is not someone to be taken lightly. He has superb chakra control and it is alleged that he has a vast army."

"How bad could he be if we've never heard of him before?" Sakura interrupted as she crossed the deck.

"You have heard of him Sakura," Kakashi replied. "Remember the Uchiha incident?"

"How could I forget?" she replied with a shudder.

"That's who we're dealing with." Kakashi said. "Now, get the ship ready for bolt collecting. We have to collect the bolts and penetrate the barrier with the storm as our cover."

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"Your time is up!" Orochimaru called into the forest. "It's time for you to prepare yourself to meet my guests."

Sighing, Iruka trudged back into the tunnels that had become his new home. He mentally groaned when he remembered what he had to wear to the 'party' that was happening in a few hours. He had been enjoying the raging storm outside; the lightning bolts reminded him of the times he spent watching storms from the rooftop of his castle. _Damn this party, damn the tunnels, and damn Orochimaru for bringing me here!_ Slamming the door of his room with excessive force, he eyed the royal purple tunic with dark black stockings and flourishing red cape. His stomach churned as he saw the overly large hat with a feather sticking out of it. Pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his temples, Iruka walked to a corner of his room to dry off. Once he was done, he walked back in front of the clothes laid out on his bed. _I think I'd rather go naked than wear this hideous thing_, he thought absently as he poked the gold boots with his toes. Shaking his head, he sighed before pulling on his new clothes. Once dressed, he brushed out his hair and jammed the hat on his head. _At least, the clothes aren't scratchy he thought as he walked out of his room._

Orochimaru was waiting for him with a sinister smirk. He licked his lips before offering his arm to Iruka. Glaring, Iruka took the offered appendage and followed Orochimaru through the tunnels. Iruka's eyes widened when they took a turn down a tunnel he had never seen before. Dimly lit, it appeared every bit as sinister as Orochimaru. Iruka could hear sounds coming from the end, but they all sounded like there was a big fight going on. Chuckling, Orochimaru led him down the tunnel until a large door materialized in front of them. He opened the door and gestured for Iruka to walk through. Iruka stepped through the doorway hesitantly before raising his head to get a good view of his surroundings. All that was heard was the thud of a door and a muffled shriek.

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"Why is it that all of your stupid infiltrations always have to leave us soaking wet?" Genma grumbled as he wrung out his bandana.

Kakashi simply raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you scared of a little water?"

Yamato chuckled quietly from his side as Genma glowered at Kakashi, looking little better than a drowned cat. "Genma, it's your own fault that you didn't wear your rain shield."

"Well, Raidou owes me now." Genma retorted. "Please tell me that you have some sense of where we're going in this forsaken forest."

"Iruka is directly west of this location." Shino replied monotonously. "It seems that he was standing about three miles away five hours ago."

"Excellent!" Gai slapped his palm on Shino's back, causing the normally composed man to stumble forward and trip over a tree root.

"Easy!" admonished Kiba, who had swung down from a tree just in time to catch his long time best friend. "Boss! Guess who I found stowed away on the ship?"

Kakashi's eye darkened as a tousled Naruto was dragged out of the hold of the ship. The boy struggled against his captors, but made no sound, staring determinedly at Kakashi. Kakashi glared at him, only to have Naruto glare back challengingly. Sighing, Kakashi motioned to have Naruto released. "Fine, you can stay. But one word against me and you get locked in the hold."

Naruto grinned just before Sakura hit him around the head, lecturing him about the rules of ANBU. The rain continued to fall around them as the ship began its slow flight towards the area where Iruka was seen last. Half an hour later Shino jumped off the side of the ship to continue tracking Iruka. Grumbling at subordinates who disappeared on their own, Kakashi pulled the ship to a halt, motioning for the crew to follow Shino. After everyone had stepped off the ship, Kakashi pushed some of his own chakra into the ship, giving it a life of its own. Setting the controls to allow hovering, he jumped off the ship and followed his crew.

"Neji, what do you see?"

"Three entrances that seem to lead underground. All of them have intricate traps."

"Kiba and Shino, which way did Iruka go?"

"Down one of-" Shino was cut off as Kiba slammed his palm against his mouth.

"There's a band of people heading in this direction." Kiba whispered. A quick motion from Kakashi and the ANBU were concealed within the trees. Kakashi signaled Neji to scout out the group. A few minutes later, Neji returned.

"It's Otonin." He whispered, tucking away his eye gear. "It seems that they are to be entertaining Orochimaru tonight."

"I think it's time ANBU went back into the entertainment business." Kakashi said grimly. Groans were heard from all around him. "

"Shika, you'll be Kidomaru. Genma, Raidou, you're Sakon and Ukon. Asuma, you're Jirobo. Neji, you're Kimimaro and I'll be Tayuya." Kakashi said over protests from Naruto and Sakura. "No Naruto, while you're good in a fight, infiltration takes a lot of practice. And Sakura, you should know better, I never let medics go undercover."

"If you're not out by the morning, we're coming in for you." Naruto said seriously. Kakashi simply smiled and ruffled the boy's hair. Nodding, he started in the direction of the tunnels.

"Shino, your bugs please." Naruto gasped as he witnessed for the first time just how Shino was the number one tracker. Steel bugs, flying with delicately built wings seeped out of his sleeves and headed down the center tunnel. As each left Shino, a tiny blue spark attached to the bug.

"Chakra…" Naruto whispered in amazement. To be able to have such control was amazing. Sakura smiled from his side. _Wait until he sees me in action_, she thought excitedly. Quickly and quietly, the rest of the ANBU circled the Otonin before pouncing and rapidly defeating the troupe. Once the troupe was secure, Kiba rifled through their bags, drawing out sheets of music and lyrics.

"Looks like we have ourselves a musical." Kiba said. "The Beauty and the Beast, Prince Iruka's favorite if the side notes are accurate."

Kakashi smirked as he began pulling out the costumes and make up from the wagon that the troupe was a part of. "Hope everyone still remembers this one."

There were hands everywhere! Iruka backed himself into a corner and went into full panic mode. Too many hands and too many bodies! He couldn't get enough air to breathe. And above all, he could hear Orochimaru's cackles. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes and called up some of his chakra. Gathering it in his palm, he opened his eyes and muttered Kai. Suddenly, everything was calm. Hands couldn't penetrate the water bubble that he had created around himself. That is, every hand except for Orochimaru's.

"Kufufufu. Now, now Iruka. Why don't you try greeting your guests? After all, they haven't seen you since you were a child."

"Who the hell are they?" Iruka demanded.

"Now you're just hurting their feelings. How can you forget all of the criminals that your father banished from his kingdom?"

Iruka stared at Orochimaru. Before he could say anything further, Orochimaru grabbed his arm and forcibly dragged him through the bubble. Iruka was shoved into a throne that was in the center of the room. Opening his mouth to protest, Iruka was cut off as pale fingers wrapped around his throat.

"Now you will sit here quietly and enjoy the entertainment that will be provided." Orochimaru warned. "One move and you're a dead man."

"What are you planning to do to me?" Iruka asked.

"First we're going to enjoy some lovely entertainment provided by the Otonin, and then I'm going to enjoy the lovely entertainment that you will provide when I allow these men to do whatever they want to you."

"You can't be serious!" Iruka gasped.

"I'm dead serious. And I shall be recording the entire episode." Orochimaru smirked. "Think of it as a little present for your father."

Iruka paled as he heard these words. What was he going to do now? No one had come, and he had no way out. If he moved an inch, over one hundred criminals would have his head. Literally. Looking back at Orochimaru, Iruka resigned himself to the entertainment, hoping that he would figure something out by the end of the night.

"Bonjour." A sibilant whisper echoed through the now quiet hall. Iruka struggled against his bonds as smoke began to billow out from the entrance. From the corner of his eyes, Iruka could see Orochimaru smirking. Suddenly, the hall burst into life as a cart rolled out with five people hanging off its side.

"Bonjour!"

"Bonjour!"

"Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!" The actors leapt off the wagon, and landed in front of Iruka, bowing deeply. Iruka stared at the various men in astonishment. Orochimaru couldn't be serious could he?

"There goes the baker with his tray, like always, the same old bread and rolls to sell. Every morning just the same since the morning that we came to this poor provincial town." Iruka's jaw dropped when he noticed Belle walking down the stairs of the wagon. This could not be happening.

"Good morning Belle!" Oh no…

"Morning Monsieur!" Oh yes, it was _Beauty and the Beast._ Iruka looked desperately at Orochimaru. Orochimaru simply chuckled at Iruka's horrified expression. Sometimes giving a person what they loved to have it snatched away rapidly was sweet, sweet torture. Seeing Iruka torn apart at the end of the play would be a perfect revenge against Kame and his kingdom.

"A beauty but a funny girl, she really is a funny girl, that Belle." The players ended in chorus as the wagon swallowed them up, indicating a change in scene. Iruka watched as Gaston tried to marry Belle, only to be rejected. He watched as Belle's father was thrown off his horse and just barely made it into the castle. The wagon changed shape again and this time the scene was set around Iruka. Bewildered, Iruka glanced around before staring at the actors.

"We need a Beast!" shouted one of the actors. The criminal crowd cheered and all pointed towards Iruka. "It seems the crowd has chosen! Come along young man, it's time for your debut."

"No, I really don't think-" Iruka was cut off before he could protest further.

"Iruka, you don't want this play to be cut short now do you?" Orochimaru asked. Iruka shook his head rapidly "Good, then you'll understand the importance of playing the role of the Beast."

Grimacing, Iruka allowed himself to be pulled into the wagon for a costume change. But the only thing they did was give him a mask to wear. That was when he realized that the hideous outfit he was wearing was actually a costume. Dressed appropriately for a Beast, he walked out of the wagon and back onto the stage.

"Who are you?" he growled. "What do you think you're doing?"

Belle's father cowered under his growl. "I just wanted some hospitality."

Iruka growled again before dragging the father off into the dungeons. Another burst of smoke and the scene changed to Belle tearfully riding off in search of her father.

"…she could be the girl who breaks the curse!" Lumiere whispered excitedly to his counterpart. Finally, when the girl entered the basement, Iruka made his appearance with the help of a smoke pellet.

"Take me in his place." Belle whispered quietly to Iruka, her father's protests in the background. Iruka opened his mouth to answer when he saw a strange glint in Belle's eyes. Blinking, he looked again, only to find that it had disappeared. Continuing with his lines, he could have sworn that for a second that one of Belle's eyes have appeared red.

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"Be. Our. Guest." Lumiere said as he offered Belle a seat at the table that had been produced from the wagon. "Be our guest, be our guest. Put our service to the test."

Iruka watched the scene unfold before his eyes without really watching the play. His mind whirred through all possible forms of escape. He had already thrown out using smoke pellets to cover his escape. The Otonin had shown just how well they were able to set up a scene and set themselves through the use of pellets. He played his part with a sort of emotional detachment, delivering lines without actually understanding what he was saying. It was only when he was forced back into the wagon for costume change that he was shaken out of his stupor. He found himself being stripped and put into a much nicer set of clothes. He was then directed out of the wagon. From somewhere, a voice began to sing.

"Tale as old as time, true as it can be…" Iruka found himself swept up in a waltz around the entire hall. Being at such close proximity to Belle, he studied the face in front of him. The lips formed a small smile and Iruka looked into the eyes of the person he was holding. He barely stifled a gasp when he noticed that one eye was a swirl of red and black. The other eye implored him to stay quiet, to continue on as he had done. Iruka gave a barely perceptible nod and continued the waltz. The scene slowly came to an end and he let Belle return to her father. As he was ushered back into the wagon, he heard one of the actors call out for a mob. All the criminals roared in approval. Quickly, he heard the criminals being divided into two groups, one that protected the castle and one that would attack the castle.

"Through the mist, through the woods, through the darkness and the shadows, it's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride." Gaston boomed out over the mob. He could hear the answering cry and for a moment, he truly felt as if he was being set upon by the criminals.

"Sacre Bleu! Invaders!" He heard Lumiere's cry. He was pushed out of the wagon to sit on the top.

"Leave me in peace!" He heard himself say. Iruka heard the shouts of _Kill the Beast!_ Slowly morph into _Kill the Prince!_ But one look from Orochimaru calmed the crowd down. He heard more than saw the brawl that started below him. But then, it was his time to fight Gaston. Rising from his chair, he attacked the other man more ferociously than needed. His fear and anger came pouring out into the fight until he was holding Gaston over the edge of the wagon with a sword at his throat. But just like in the play, he was brought back by Belle's cry. Lowering the other man, he turned away to help Belle onto the top of the wagon.

The last thing he heard before Gaston lunged at him for a killing blow was "Trust me."

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Moments later, Iruka found himself outside of the tunnels, bouncing on someone's back as they ran into the forest. He seemed to be wrapped tightly in a cloak of some sort.

"What happened?" he croaked.

"We had set up explosions throughout the play and each of the criminals weapons had dynamite attached to it. Smoke pellets and teleportation got us out of there." A voice answered.

"Who are you?" Iruka asked, still too dazed to move.

"ANBU." The man who was carrying him replied. "We're here to save you."

Iruka's eyes widened as a flying ship came into view. One by one, the men who had saved him jumped onto the ship. Iruka was dropped unceremoniously onto the deck as the group began to make preparations for departure. He watched in amazement as the ship began rising upward.

"Shika! Give her everything."

"Boss, they're clearing the trees!"

"Iruka! You're okay!" Iruka was completely bowled over by a blonde hurricane.

"Naruto! What are you doing as a part of ANBU?" Iruka demanded.

"Stowed away of course! But we'll have to talk later. We have to get out of this barrier."

Iruka looked above, the barrier becoming more and more visible as the closer he got to it. "How did you get in, in the first place?"

"Lightning bolts!" Someone replied.

"You'll never get out that way!" Iruka yelled back. "Orochimaru knows you're here so the  
barrier will be impenetrable. You're going to have to kill him!"

All activity on the ship ceased as eyes turned towards Iruka. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "The only reason you got through the first time, was because Orochimaru had make the barrier permeable to the natural elements. Now that he knows you're here, the barrier will become solid and there will be no escape from the forest. But if he dies, then the barrier dies with him."

"Then that's what we'll do," replied a man wearing a mask around the bottom half of his face. "Kiba, Shino, train the guns to the criminals. Genma and Raidou, you're in charge of the bombs and bolts. The rest of you, come with me. We have a fight to win."

Within five minutes, all costumes and props were put away and the ANBU had changed into flowing gear, exceptional for killing and battle. Iruka quickly pulled off his own costume and changed into one of the sets of clothing handed to him. He moved to a rope that would let him down when he was stopped.

"Oh no," Kakashi said. "You're staying on the ship Prince. We can't have all of our work go to waste."

"Like hell I'm staying here," Iruka retorted. "I'm no damsel in distress."

"Too bad," Kakashi replied with a smirk. "I'm the captain and what I say, goes."

Before Iruka could protest, he was restrained by Genma and Raidou. Kakashi saluted once and jumped off the side of the ship.

"Relax Prince," Genma said good-naturedly, "Kakashi never said that you couldn't help us up here."

Iruka huffed, but resigned himself to staying on the ship…for now. He followed Genma and Raidou to the bombs. Inspecting the bombs, an idea sparked in Iruka's mind.

"Fly the ship over the criminals." He instructed. When Genma and Raidou stared at him, he added, "Trust me. I have a plan."

A whirring sound was heard and Kakashi looked up to see him ship moving. He growled as he continued to hack through the depleted, but still numerous criminals. What the hell was going on? Suddenly, he heard a shrill whistle.

A bomb exploded in the middle of the crowd, taking out many of the criminals. Suddenly, a bolt came down and split a tree in half, sending the pieces careening over the convicts. Just like that, half of Orochimaru's force was decimated. Kakashi heard a whoop from Naruto's direction and he smirked, attacking the felons again. Maybe the Prince was good for something. The ANBU attacked with renewed fervor, which began to drive the criminals back.

"I'm going after Orochimaru!" Kakashi yelled at his subordinates. "Make sure you all get to safety."

Several heads nodded as ropes fell down the side of the ship. They slowly climbed up the ropes, slashing away at the enemy. Finally, they reached the deck of the ship.

"Where's Kakashi?" Iruka demanded as he took in the weary, but in otherwise good condition crew. "Where is he?"

"He's going to kill Orochimaru." Yamato replied quietly. "We need to head to the top of the barrier so we can escape immediately."

Iruka stared at him for a moment before lunging at the man. "Hell NO!"

Genma and Raidou pulled Iruka off of Yamato before he had time to swing his fists. "Leave it Prince! We're going to need all of the help we can get."

Iruka broke free of the grasp before snarling at them. "I am not about to let the man who saved me die."

"It's not your decision." Asuma stated sternly. "He is our captain. We have to follow his orders."

"Bullshit!" Iruka yelled. "You're all scum! Who the hell leaves a comrade behind?"

With that, Iruka grabbed a rope and swung off the deck of the ship. He ignored the rope burn as he slide down the rope. His mind was focused on reaching Kakashi and getting him out of there. Ten feet above the ground, he jumped off the rope and landed in a crouch. Instantly, criminals swarmed upon him. But this time, he was ready. Using a smoke pellet to conceal himself, he ran around the group attacking him, placing explosives along his route. Three seconds later, he was catapulted through the air by the power of the explosion. Blinking his eyes to focus his gaze, he found a clear path had formed towards Kakashi. Glancing around, he noticed that the remaining criminals were regrouping and heading towards him. Focusing his chakra in his feet, he ran into the forest. Two shrill whistles cut through the air and he smiled. Maybe the crew did have some sense. Plowing forward, he finally began to see the signs of destruction from Kakashi and Orochimaru's battle. He slowed down when he finally reached a clearing. Sounds of chakra and weapons clashing could be heard through the trees.

Iruka quietly climbed a tree on the edge of clearing. His eyes widened when he saw the scene in front of him. The two men were matched evenly. Neither gave up any ground. But it was clear that the battle was ending. Now it just mattered whose will would hold out the longest. Iruka ran through his mind for any ideas that would give Kakashi an advantage. But none came. He saw before his eyes as Kakashi slowly tired, Orochimaru's attacks hitting more often than not. Finally, Kakashi collapsed onto his knees. With a triumphant yell, Orochimaru rushed forward with his sword.

"NO!" Iruka yelled as he lunged from the tree, his chakra filled legs propelling him at Orochimaru. Hearing the yell, Orochimaru turned in his direction. At the last second, Iruka curled into a tight ball, the sword in Orochimaru's hand lodging its full length down the middle of Iruka's back. He screamed as he felt his skin split open, the sword digging deep. The last thing he saw as his vision slowly faded to black was a bare hand holding a bolt of lightning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"…can't believe he…"

"I know, he's…"

"Why did you…"

"…could have…"

"Prince is…"

"Time to wake up Prince." A soft voice murmured from somewhere. "Everyone's worried about you."

"Five more minutes." Iruka muttered. An attempt to shift onto his side caused a searing pain through his back, enough to jolt him awake, all his memories rushing back to him. Before he could move any more, firm hands held him down on the bed.

"Prince Iruka, if you move, you're going to tear the stitches I've put in on your back. There's only so much chakra healing can do." Sakura's face appeared before Iruka's. He nodded slowly and eased himself into a comfortable position.

"Enough of this 'prince' business. Iruka is just fine."

"What the hell were you thinking Iruka!" Naruto's voice yelled from somewhere over his shoulder. "You almost died!"

"Yes Prince Iruka," a cool voice added from the same area, "what were you thinking?"

"Kakashi?" Iruka questioned. "Are you alright? Is Orochimaru dead?"

"Everyone out. Now." Kakashi said. After a few minor protests from Naruto and Sakura, the room was quiet. "Who the hell said that you could leave the ship?"

"I won't leave a comrade behind."

"You're an idiot."

"And you're any better?" Iruka asked incredulously. "Did you think I would be happy if you died along with Orochimaru? Do you think that my safety was worth your life?"

"I took a calculated risk."

"You were going to die if I hadn't shown up."

"Then I would have died!" Kakashi shouted. "Your safety was priority one. And then you almost got skewered by a sword. How do you think I felt to see your back split open? I nearly lost it!"

"Yeah?" Iruka replied angrily. "How scared do you think I was when I saw you on your knees?"

"I don't know Ir-u-ka." Kakashi replied. "But it can't be anywhere close to what I felt."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Prove it."

"What?"

"Prove that you were more scared when you saw me rather than when I saw you." Iruka replied smugly. "That's right, you ca-"

Warm lips covered his mouth, effectively cutting off his words. Iruka squeaked, but did little else from his prone position. The kiss was hard and messy, but Iruka melted under the gentle touches and hands that cradled his face. A tongue pushed insistently at the seam of his lips, and Iruka opened his mouth slightly. Kakashi explored every inch of Iruka's mouth before coaxing Iruka to do the same to him. Both men expressed breathy whimpers as Kakashi pushed harder into the kiss, wanting to get as close as possible to Iruka.

A whistle had them breaking apart rapidly. "Damn! Hey guys, the Prince and the Captain are getting hot and heavy over here."

Iruka blushed a bright red color, but Kakashi simply lifted an eyebrow in response."How nice of you to sign up for a week of deck swabbing, Kiba."

Kiba paled before taking the hint and racing off. But the damage had been done. Iruka buried his head into the pillow, his ears red enough to put a tomato to shame. Kakashi chuckled before lifting Iruka's head out of the pillow. He leaned down again to capture the other man's lips. This time, the kiss was sweeter, more tender, leaving Iruka breathless as Kakashi broke away.

"When did _this_ happen?" Iruka asked quietly.

"Well, you were always sexy," Kakashi replied with a grin. "But that Beast mask was probably the turning point."

Iruka laughed quietly. "Be serious Kakashi."

"Truth be told, I don't really know when _this_ happened." Kakashi said. "But it happened."

Iruka paused for a minute before answering. "You're an attractive man Kakashi, and I'm not averse to _this_. But I have a duty to my kingdom. And you have a duty to your crew."

Kakashi smiled gently. "Why don't we figure that out when we get back to your kingdom?"

"Yeah," Iruka replied with a smile of his own. "Alright."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We are indebted to you and your men for the safe return of the Crown Prince Iruka Umino." King Kame spoke out over the crew of ANBU standing in his great hall. "Whatever you all so desire, will be granted to you."

One by one, each member stepped up and asked for what they required for their services. Sakura asked for access to the Royal Herbal Garden while Neji asked for a sacred idol of the Queen's. Finally, it was Kakashi's turn to ask for what he wanted. Before he opened his mouth, he glanced at Iruka and grinned.

"I want Naruto to join the ANBU." Kame's mouth fell open. He opened his mouth to protest, only to be interrupted by Naruto.

"Really?" Naruto asked excitedly. "You really want me as a part of your team?"

"Yes." Kakashi's eye curved up happily. "You're good in a fight and you've got heart kid."

"Can I?" Naruto asked Kame. Kame looked at him doubtfully.

"Yes." Iruka cut through before his father could speak. "You've always dreamed about this, and I think you'd be great. But you have to promise to come back and visit me."

Naruto gave a watery smile as Sakura and Kiba slung their arms around his shoulder. "Of course I'll come back. And I'll make sure everyone else does too!"

"So be it." Kame said solemnly. The ANBU bowed in respect before heading out of the door. But Kakashi remained. Confused, the crew stopped by the entrance and turned to see what was happening.

"I have another request Your Highness." Kakashi said.

"You're request has already been granted." Kame replied. "I don't like this new request that you have."

"But you don't have to agree." Kakashi said amicably. "I simply want to request it."

"Go on."

"I want to court your son, Prince Iruka. And I want to retire from ANBU. Yamato will be an excellent leader."

"Absolutely not." Kame replied furiously. "How dare you presume that just because you saved my son that you can seduce him!"

"Father!" Iruka interjected. "Don't I have a say in this?"

"No. He will not be courting you. I will not have a murderer court my son!" Kakashi paled at this comment. Iruka simply glared at his father, but said nothing. Slowly, Kakashi turned around and began walking back to his crew.

"Then I'll court him." Iruka's voice rang out over the hall. Jaws dropped and gasps could be heard from all around. Kakashi whirled around to stare at Iruka. Iruka looked determinedly back at him and then glared at his father. "If he's not allowed to court me, then I'll have to court him."

"Absolutely n-"

"You can't argue this Father. While you can control who can court me, you can't control who I court. If I'm the one courting, there's no reason to protect my virtue."

"Wait," Naruto interrupted. "Does that mean that Kakashi is the girl?"

"Well, he did play the part of Belle." Yamato added.

"And he was cross dressing to be Tayuya." Sakura said with a smirk.

"And he did need to be saved in the battle." Neji said sagely.

"So Father, as you can see," Iruka said, ignoring the others. "while Kakashi has the right to refuse me, you do not. Unless he says otherwise, I will be courting him."

Kame Umino pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Kakashi Hatake, do you accept my son's proposal?"

There was pin drop silence. Then, "I have to be the girl?"

Iruka's face fell and he turned away. He had thought-

"Yes, yes, and hell yes." Kakashi said. "I would love to be courted by Prince Iruka."

Kame coughed. "Well then. As much as I don't approve, so be it."

The next thing Iruka knew, was a tongue in search of his tonsils. He moaned as Kakashi wrapped his arms around him, pulling him tightly into a hard body. He slipped one arm around Kakashi's waist and the other wound through the silver hair. Fighting back against the onslaught, he pushed his own tongue into Kakashi's mouth, drawing a whimper from the man. Finally, _finally_, they broke apart panting and grinning like fools. Another cough brought them back to present time.

"It seems that your, er-virtue, has no need to be protected." Kame said, trying very hard not to look at his son and future son-in-law. The two men just laughed.

"I believe this is the part that the Prince carries his fiancé off into the sunset." Kakashi said. Iruka leered and proceeded to do just that. Only he carried Kakashi off into his bedroom.

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I hope you enjoyed reading this piece of CRACK as much as I enjoyed writing this crazy, Disney, Steampunk prompt!

R&R would be lovely!


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